Pinkie Boots
by llxxRawr its Beansxxll
Summary: Based on 'Squeaky Boots'. I own nothing. Also, I TOOK THE BOOTS!


At Applebloom's birthday, Applejack is providing some entertainment by playing a bluegrass violin very badly. She struggles with some notes, and most of the chords are jumbled up, but eventually, she finishes so that her guests have to suffer no longer.

Applejack: Ta-da.

Sweetie Belle falls down from the headache of Applejack's playing.

Applebloom: Uh…thanks fer the show, Applejack. Now, can we open the presents?

Applejack: Oh, alright, presents for mah little sister.

She puts a present in Applebloom's lap.

Applejack: It's from me.

Applebloom: Aw, ya' shouldn't have. What is it, Applejack? It wouldn't be them totally hip new horseshoes all mah friends are wearin', would it? Everypony wants 'em.

Applejack: Uh…well, they might be.

Applebloom: Aw, ya' shouldn't have! Yay, ya' shouldn't have!...Ah mean, Applejack, ya' really shouldn't have.

She holds up a pair of large work boots. Her friends giggle at the sight.

Applejack: Applebloom, these are the finest work boots available.

Applebloom: Applejack, ya' ruined me!

She starts to sob hysterically. Applejack really doesn't like seeing her sister this way.

Applejack: But ah got 'em fer a bargain!

That does nothing to calm her, and she cries so loud that the whole of Sweet Apple Acres shakes.

Cut to Applejack in her room, looking despondently at the boots.

Applejack: Oh, what am ah gonna do? Ah spent two whole bits on these boots, and now ah'm stuck with 'em!

She hears a knock on her door.

Applejack: Come in.

Pinkie: Hey, Applejack!

Applejack: Pinkie? What are you…Ah mean, Pinkie Pie! Come in, come in, right this way, sugarcube! Have a seat anywhere, but not on these purty, priceless boots.

Applejack sets up a chair just across from her bed.

Applejack: So, what brings ya' here, Pinkie?

Pinkie: Uh, Applejack, I can't see you. The boots…are in…the way.

The country earth pony pushes the boots aside.

Applejack: In the way? These boots never leave mah sight! These 're the most expensive and prized possessions ah own.

Pinkie: Wow, really?! Why is that? They look like any old, ordinary boots.

Applejack: Ordinary boots? These 're the only official baker's boots! Only the finest bakers in Equestria are permitted to wear 'em! Part of a tradition. An' these boots were given to me by Granny Smith herself!

Pinkie: Ooh, Granny Smith?! She makes the best apple pies ever! I want those boots, Applejack!

Applejack: Sorry, sugarcube, but these boots 're far too valuable.

Pinkie: Hmm…I know! How about I give you a dozen cupcakes for free?!

Applejack: Uh…ah dunno, ah guess…

Pinkie: Two dozen!

Applejack: Okay, ya' got a deal-

Pinkie: Three dozen!

Applejack: Ya' got a deal!

Pinkie: Four-

Applejack: Hold on there, Pinkie! You're gonna give me diabetes!

She gives Pinkie's hoof a firm shake.

Applejack: Ya' got yerself a deal.

Big Macintosh is busy plowing the fields when he sees Pinkie squeaking her boots all around him.

Pinkie: Hey, Big Mac. Do you like my new boots? Pretty cool, huh? Now, I'm an official baker!

Big Mac's eyes follow her bouncing up and down, squeaking the boots all over Sweet Apple Acres.

Big Macintosh: Grr! (to Applejack) No offense to Miss Pinkie, but that squeakin' is gonna drive us all crazy!

Applejack: Nonsense, Big Mac. That squeakin' is money to mah ears. Ah mean, music.

Cut to Applejack sleeping soundly in her bed at night, dreaming about working in the fields. She bucks an apple tree and counts the apples falling down, when suddenly, four squeaky boots fall from the tree.

Applejack: Wha? Who's there…?

She looks around and sees nopony in her room.

Applejack: Back to countin' apples. One, two, three, four, five…

The boots appear again in her dream.

Applejack: What in tarnation is that?

The window sqeaking open and shut is causing the squeaking that makes the squeaky boots appear in her dream.

She closes it and heads back to bed, but notices it squeak back open. She goes back to close it, but one of her hooves steps in a hole. It cracks in half, and she falls out the window.

Applejack: AAAAAAAAAAAH!

She stomps back into her bedroom grumbling and shuts the window again, watching for holes in the floor. No matter how many times she shuts it, it just keeps opening, so after repeatedly trying to shut it, she growls and gives it a mean look. It closes on her command.

She heads back to bed smiling, but steps in another hole and trips onto her bed, getting tied up in the sheets. She is stuck there while the window squeaks open and shut all night.

The next morning, Applejack has bandages around her two front hooves.

Applejack: Ugh, that was the worst night ah ever weathered. At least ah'll have some peace and quiet at work.

Big Mac walks up to her, looking quite annoyed.

Big Mac: That's it, Applejack! Ah'm takin' mah vacation now!

Applejack: What's wrong, Big Mac?

Big Mac: Ah'm sorry, sis, but ah can't take Equestria's greatest baker no more! Ah'll see ya' in a week.

Applejack: Wait, don't go, Big Mac! Cider season's tomorrow!

Pinkie: Hey, Applejack!

Applejack: Pinkie P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-pie!

Every time she squeaks, Applejack stutters.

Applejack: Ah, uhh, see yer still wearin' them boots.

Pinkie: Are you kidding? I love them! Could Equestria's greatest baker do this?!

She gallops fast in place, carrying two apples.

Applejack: Ah don't, uh…ah don't…uh…

Pinkie: Or could she do this?!

She leans much farther than her legs could ever go.

Pinkie: Or this?

She leans to the other side.

Pinkie: And watch this, Applejack!

She runs up to her and squeaks the boots as if they were talking.

Squeaky Boots: Hello, Applejack. My name is Squeak. May I take your order?

Pinkie: Could the greatest baker do that, Applejack?!

Applejack: Ah, uh…

Pinkie: And watch this, Applejack!

She continues to defy gravity in typical Pinkie Pie fashion.

Pinkie: And this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this!

Applejack: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

She runs far away from Pinkie and to the other side of Sweet Apple Acres.

Applejack: Ah can still hear it!

She bucks some apples from a tree and uses two of them to cover her ears.

Applejack: It's still comin' through! Tha' infernal SQUEAK!

She repeatedly bangs her head against the apple tree.

Applejack: Those boots have got ta' go!

Big Mac: (leaning against a tree) Eeyup.

Cut to Sugarcube Corner, where Pinkie is getting ready for bed.

Pinkie: Gummy, these boots have changed my life! I'm never taking them off!

Gummy blinks with ear plugs on.

Pinkie: Good night, Gummy.

As she sleeps, Applejack sneaks through Ponyville and into Sugarcube Corner. She gets a ladder to get to Pinkie's window, then slips into her room and quietly steals the boots right off of her hooves.

Then, she runs back to Sweet Apple Acres and buries the accursed boots under the orchard.

Applejack is up at sunrise, admiring the peace and quiet of her home and tending to customers wanting their cider. Surprisingly, Pinkie is not one of them.

Applejack: Ah, quiet money. Silence and money.

Pinkie: Applejack?

She slowly walks up to her, her mane once again deflated and without the boots.

Applejack: What is it, sugarcube?

She buries her head into her friend's shoulder and cries.

Pinkie: Oh, Applejack, I'm sorry! Sorry, sorry, I'm sorry!

Applejack: It's alright, Pinkie.

Pinkie: No, it's not alright! I lost the boots! Your valuable work boots, it's my fault, I let you down! Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!

Applejack: Hold it, sugarcube! It's not tha' end of the world!

Pinkie: Yes, it is.

Applejack: Look, don't cry. Ah got some, uh…some magic oven mitts!

She slips the mitts onto her hooves, and then kicks them off in a rage.

Pinkie: They're not the same! You were right; I wasn't ready for those blessed boots.

She slowly slunks off somewhere into the orchard.

Applejack: Poor Pinkie.

She feels extremely bad as the cause of Pinkie's misery as she watches her cry into an apple tree.

Fluttershy: Um…excuse me?

Applejack: Ah didn't do it! Oh. Hehe. Can I help ya', Fluttershy?

Fluttershy: Um…yes, I'll take some apple cider.

Applejack: And how would ya' like that?

Fluttershy: I'll take it (squeak, squeak).

Instead of usually trailing off quietly, she seems to reenact the squeaking of the boots Applejack was sure she buried last night.

Applejack: What did you say?!

Fluttershy: Um…I said I'll take it (squeak, squeak).

Applejack: Huh?!

Pinkie: I heard her, Applejack. She said she wants it (squeak, squeak).

Applejack: Wha?!

Fluttershy: And, um, (squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak).

Applejack: Aah!

She looks around, and everything Pinkie and Fluttershy say is squeaking.

She even looks at her watch, and all it says is 'Squeak, Squeak, Squeak'.

Applejack: Who's there?!

She looks over at the Sweet Apple Acres sign, and it reads the same thing.

Applejack: Ah didn't write that! Aah!

Applejack goes crazy as she hears everything and everyone squeaking, just like those infernal boots.

Applejack: Who said that?! Who's there?!

She continues to hear the squeaking all around her and have flashbacks of Pinkie squeaking in the boots. Eventually, she can't take any more and reaches her breaking point.

Applejack: Stop it! STOP IT! D-d-don't ya' hear it?!

All the customers in line give her a strange look as she makes an extremely funny face.

Applejack: Yes, ah did it! Ah did it! Ah took the boots! They're here! Under tha' orchard! Aw, please, make it stop! It's tha' squeakin' of tha' hideous boots!

She throws herself onto the ground and cries.

Applejack: Ah'm sorry, but ah can't take tha' infernal squeakin' no more!

The customers scream as she lifts up the entire orchard by herself and collects the boots from underground. Then, she takes them to a pot of boiling apple cider still getting ready and dips the boots straight in them. They shrink, and once they are small enough, she gobbles them up so she no longer has anything to do with them.

She gives a loud burp, then an adorable face.

Applejack: Tha' deed is done.

Pinkie: Um…why did you eat my boots, Applejack?

Applejack: Because, Pinkie, ya' didn't need 'em. It ain't the boots, it's the booty, ah mean, the pony inside the boots…You're a great baker.

Pinkie: You really think so, Applejack?

Applejack: 'Course ah do, sugarcube. So, here's them cupcakes ah owe you. Now, if you'll excuse me, ah gotta take a vacation.

Pinkie: (now happy) Bye, Applejack!

Cut to Applejack and her little sister walking along the oceanfront on their vacation.

Applejack: Ah, a long week away from Ponyville is exactly what ah need, just me and mah little sister.

Applebloom: Don't forget mah new horseshoes, Applejack!

Applejack: Applebloom, I won't. Hehehe-

She hiccups, and a loud squeak comes out of it. At first, she thinks it's her imagination, but they come back.

Applejack: Oh, no.

She continues to hiccup and squeak as they walk on the beach.


End file.
